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Debbee Stevens

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Debbee Stevens
The Western Australian's notice of the death of Debbee Stevens. The family used Debbee's male name in the obituary.

Debbee Stevens, the oldest remaining member of Susan's TG Resources besides Susan, passed away on February 7, 2009. As part of our family for over 10 years she has made an unmeasurable contribution to countless trans people's lives. Her last contributions were as the Links Administrator, managing the site's Main Page of links to TG resources around the world wide web. She will be sorely missed as both a coworker in our efforts to make Susan's a safe and supportive site and especially as a close, old friend.




Notification of her passing

We were told of Debbee's passing on February 13, 2009 by her close friend, moz, in Susan's chat room.

[09:32] * moz (jirc@dsl-*.westnet.com.au) has joined #Chat
[09:32] <Flan> hi
[09:32] <moz> Hi everyone
. . .
[09:35] <moz> I am here to let anyone know as her best that Debbee Stevens is no longer with us, I know she used this site and I miss her soo bad it hurts
[09:36] <Flan> :o
[09:36] <Flan> are you serious?
[09:36] <moz> I sure am
[09:36] <Flan> ...
[09:37] <moz> I dont know what else to say except she too her own life in nsw on 7th of feb
[09:38] <moz> should be 'took' sorry
. . .
[09:40] <moz> ru there flan
[09:40] <Flan> yes
[09:40] <moz> ru ok
[09:40] <Flan> i don't know what to think
[09:40] <moz> i know deb did a bit for susans
[09:41] <moz> i am still in shock
[09:41] <Flan> yeah
[09:42] <moz> obviously no hint on ur end either
. . .
[09:58] <moz> her father and family put a death notice in the west australian on tuesday 9th of Feb in his sons name
. . .
[09:59] <moz> i was totally annoyed 'To our darling son' it read she has tried all her life to be Debbee and he does this to her in death
[09:59] * Christi tries to comfort moz as best as she can through the lines
. . .

Susan emailed the Western Australia newspaper and received confirmation of the sad news.

Responses from friends

Hi this is Christa a very close friend of Debbee's, she stayed with me from 2005 untill 2008, where she moved out prior to Christmas. Debbee went to Perth for a while before returning and obtaining her own place and was working for a GP clinic. She seemed happy but was never the same after her last car accident, and every procedure caused more complications, she was prone to a medical terminology constricture she told me, wher the scar tissue becomes tight and closes up. Causing ongoing problems with her voice and vagina. Debbee was born Ronald Barry before her change and her DOB was 11.10.1961 she was 46. On the 7 of February 2009 after not receiving any responses to my texts I became concerned and went to her flat where I found her approx. 14.30 on the 7 February. Debbee had no contact with her family for many years and were not willing to provide a funeral in her current name as she was their son, so they cremated her without a service or memorial. I had placed a notice in our local paper for her, as a regognition of being in this world, but she does deserve a plaque.

Kind Regards to all
Christa Bradley


Quotations

The great majority of Debbee's posts were written to help people deal with the technical portions of the forums, chat and links pages. She was also fiercely protective of the site and used her authority to maintain it, especially in the chat rooms. The following are but some of the memorable posts Debbee made since the last forums upgrade in May of 2005:

Debbee sent this post to the Staff Forums in October of 2008:

As some of you are aware i was in a car accident when I was in the USA and it damaged my neck well April this year the same thing happened again. Unfortunately i was a passenger in the first and the second well I was hit by another car. Since then i have had a lot of pain in my neck and there is nothing the doctors can give me with out moving up to Oxycodone or Oxycodine both a morphine product. I have a high resistance to all pain medications due to the fact of the action of hacking at myself during the early years of trying to come to terms with my trans gender issues. Having to have several operations for well over 10 plus years every 3 weeks has me to the point that none of the normal pain medications work.


its now at the point where the pain is now to much to bear as well as a few personal issues have now pushed me to the point of its time to go. I have decided to end my life as it is in the next few days i know it will be peaceful and painless but it is the only thing left to do as I can not stand the pain any longer. So to all my friends here i say thank you for the good times and helping me through the bad ones. Susan thank you for the friendship over the years I am just sorry we never got to meet personally but in a way I feel like we have. Thanks for the good times and the chance of being on the site.

So I say good by and wish you well

Debbee Stevens

August 31, 2008, responding to a post noting Susan's Place's founding in August of 1995:

oh boy have we not seen some changes in the years that followed . There have been alot of fun times and a few sad ones during the years ive spent here. We have seen people come an go but one thing that has always stayed constant has been the shining light from a place alot of us have called home on the net at one time or another. The changes in It over the years have seen many inavations here some embraced by the users and some having to be draged into the new era. Susan thank you for all you have done fo the comunity and my it prosper for many years to come


Debbee

so does that mean i get a reduction in my service time now as drafting for a liftime is 25 years ... isnt it !!!

October, 2007

Just want to make 1 short statement here and theta it this


" it is not what is between your legs that defines your gender its whats in the mind heart and soal that does "

A wise person once told me this and i have never forgotten it (have I?)
Debbee

September 11, 2006

Quote
She has a room for support, and I don't understand what purpose is served in allowing her here.


In reference to this statement I find it that we must have lost our way as a support group to think this way. Everyone should be aloud to come here for support. We are not always going to agree with everyone who comes here and at times we may wish that they go away and leave us be. I then have to ask myself is this not doing to a person that which we hate done to us in being Trans gendered. We hate the judgement of people because they don’t like us or they have a phobia about us or something has gone on before in the past and people cant forgive us for it. Is this not what we are saying here... by the quote . Sure things have happened between susans.org and tgfluff and its respective owners and staff but lets burry this here and now. There is no reason for it at this stage. Kitten does have a lot to offer if you can take time to listen for it. One day she maybe the only person in chat that can help you through a problem you may have that no one else has had or been through. Its time to bury the hatchet deep in the ground and leave it lay there as everyone should be accepted here and let bygones be bygones. We all need support from where ever we can find it and kitten should be no different. I hate to think what Susan’s would be like if we all accepted the point of "what purpose is served in allowing them here". I for one am sure I would not be here due to some disagreement I have had here on the site and I hope that I at least am able to help this site grow and prosper. But there was a time I was found to a problem on this site and was removed from it. I would hate to think what I would be like if that was made a life long ban or if I would have survived at all.

We all have other sites we can visit if Susan’s was to shut right now and yes we can all visit them. We would all have support there to. I know I have chosen to stay here because I like the chat and the support as well as the family feeling of being here at Susan’s. Should we not make this available to everyone no matter who they are as long as they follow the rules as set down by Susan? The Forums, chat and links area would be useless if we stoped people coming here just because we didn’t think they should be here and for no other reason.

Debbee

May 13, 2006

the funny thing about all the transition is that when your ready and everything is in place it all kinda happenes seemlessly with out you really realising it. It is not as if some one turned a switch or some one removed an appendage you want removed. its alot more sutttle than that. You will know when its time and you wont have to b told. The trick is not to rush things and do it in your own time. To many TS think well there doing it and I have to do it, well thats far from the truth. Do not let peer pressure push you into somthing earlier than your ready for. One other piece of information i would like to pass on. Please make sure you have everything sorted and your mind is settled before you go for any surgery weather it be SRS breast augmentation or evan FRS as if you dont surgery will not help fix any problems or issues you have before surgery. Surgery is like the celerbration that you have come to terms with the issues and that you have and can exist in society and function as a normal person. If you cant do all of these you need to wait till you can before you have your sergery
I wrote this 12 months ago and thought it is time I shared it with people



I am free to be me at last

With dear friends in toe and support at last

With the warmth of the sun and my Sister by my side

I take tentative steps to be what I have always been inside


I leave the cold dark depths of darkness behind

And store the lessons I’ve learnt in my mind

To trust my heart and soul with in

And thank all those people who would never let me give in


I feel born a new with dreams and desires

To live life to its fullest with warmth in my fire

I have a fire with in and feel not cold any more

I have life ahead of me and much more in store


Ill not stare with a blank face into a dark pond no more

Its time to celebrate life and live life once more

I thank everyone for the support I have received

And im glad to say no longer shall I grieve


It’s nice to be able to bath in the warmth of the sunlight

To be peace with one self and look forward is right

The radiating support from my friends is overwhelming

The kindness I have received is overpowering



Its time to be who I have always been

To come out of the shadows for all to be seen

Ill stand side by side with my friends that care

And all I can say is thank you all for being there


Regards

Debbee

Discuss

This page was originally authored by members of Susan's Place Wiki Staff.

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